A Truth About Being Stuck In A Rut That Nobody Is Talking About

PART 3: LET's PUT IT ALL TOGETHER

So we talked about living in HIBERNATION mode when people don’t fully live their lives and feel bored and stuck in a rut.

That’s when they go grab that new blue coffee to feel like they are trying something new and fixing the problem. It gives them the short-lived excitement, but it's  not really working, and things go back to the same old stuff.

Because the real problem is that FEAR OF JUDGMENT and the "TOO-X-BS" are holding them back. 

Most people are afraid to be SEEN sucking at something new, so they use the TOO-X card and find all the excuses in the world (“I’m too X for this”) to talk themselves out of it because they don’t have enough CONFIDENCE. And the tricky part is that they actually must do the scary things to show themselves that they can do more than they think. And all this requires COURAGE.

I will put all the keywords for you here:

HIBERNATION

FEAR OF JUDGMENT

TOO-X

CONFIDENCE

COURAGE

ACTIVATION

And here’s the formula for getting out of the rut:

When you want to get out of HIBERNATION (which is a function of FEAR OF JUDGEMENT and TOO-X-BS) you need to chose COURAGE to take ACTION that builds CONFIDENCE, and that results in ACTIVATION.

HM (f  FoJ, TOO-X-BS) ≠ CO → AC → CM → AM

Makes total sense, right?

Okay, so let’s take it from here. Because this last part is going to rock your world!

Kick Fear's Ass With Automatic Activation Procedures

You may have noticed that I included various exercises throughout this series. Things like listing your biggest achievements, self-talk, imagining the face of the person who would judge you, asking yourself if something bad is really happening to you when you feel scared, and so on.

The reason why I asked you to do them is not that I thought that they would make this article fancier. I did it because these little but intentional new things to try are really powerful. They not only make you used to getting over yourself and stepping into the Activation mode, but they also create AUTOMATIC ACTIVATION PROCEDURES to focus on when you start freaking out.

What are Automatic Activation Procedures? They're like the scripts that actors learn by heart before they go on stage. They rehearse their lines and scenes to the point that when it’s time to act in front of the live audience, they just go through it automatically. They remember what they rehearsed (things like where to stand, what to say, how to move), and they automatically go back to that in the moments of stage fright. This keeps them on track and calms their nerves.

And you can use this trick in stressful situations too. Whenever you deal with fear, uncertainty, moments of not believing in yourself - switch your brain to the preset procedures that you know now. Use them as your superpowers!

For example:

• Have a moment of weakness, and not believing in yourself - get the list of your biggest achievements. 
• Feel the fear of judgment - go to the imagining the face of the person who is judging you exercise. 
• Having doubts about something you're doing - repeat to yourself: “I chose it. I want it. I decided to do it.” 

These are some really powerful AUTOMATIC ACTIVATION PROCEDURES.

And how do I know they work?

Well, I HAD BEEN in this HIBERNATION mode too. I spent years living for the weekends. I know how it feels to be living the life that doesn't feel like it's yours. I know how it hurts to think about yourself 10 years from now because you are afraid that your future will look exactly the same as the present. 

But I also know how it feels to have that fire inside your chest that says ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! 

And I know that it's possible to get out of the Hibernation mode with being intentional & consistent about trying new things. During 7 years of my corporate marketing career, 6 years of running an online business, and many years of personal growth journey, I gather a whole bunch of new automatic procedures I now use to “hack myself.” 

Activation Mode Helps To Achieve Pretty Damn Impressive Things

Stepping boldly into the activation mode helped me to:

But it's not only about me. I shared the very same automatic procedures with women in Besties Trying New Things (my online program). And they worked for them as well. I don’t want to be sassy and say: “I knew it!” but I obviously knew it.

These little but meaningful new procedures WORK FOR EVERYONE.

They boost confidence, reframe fears, and help take bold action.

Like what? The women in my program were able to:

These are all damn impressive achievements if you ask me!

And I believe you can achieve that too! Keep reading to learn how.

Start With A Project

A sentence I hear a lot is: "But where do I start?" And here's my answer: initiate a new project. Start finally doing what you've been putting on hold for too long. Remember when I said that new things that get you out of the Hibernation need to be intentional and important to you? That's what I meant. 

I’m a huge fan of always having a project that excites you.  Something to work on, something to have fun with, something that recharges you and gives you the energy to deal with the mundane. 

Don’t wait for clarity, courage, or confidence - take one step forward and create them.  

Enter that something you want to make time for I asked you to think about in the very first part of this article series. Don't have it? No worries - there's that blue box with questions below once again.

I’m sure you have something on your mind. It doesn’t have to be super big. Just something that you really want to do. Something that will let you embrace new experiences to grow & reconnect with your true self. For me right now, it's challenging myself to try 100 new things.

For you, it may  be starting a podcast, organizing a local volunteering group, writing a novel, joining an improv group, planning a really cool road trip with your girlfriends, hiking Machu Picchu, or running a half-marathon. 

Or maybe you have no freaking clue about what you’ll do yet, and your first project is to put yourself more out there to figure it out. 

Think about a project that's important to you

• What do you need to make time for? 
• What would make you feel like you’re stepping into the activation mode?
• What is the thing you’re craving for, but have been putting on your “someday list”?

Doing Nothing Has A Cost

Now, you can decide to finally do it, or you can obviously keep putting it off. 

But staying stuck in this hibernation mode & not living up to the full potential HAS A COST. 

Maybe it’s the cost of missed opportunities, lost years, being tired of the same boring stuff, giving up on the fun, not knowing if you could pull that off, if there is more to life...

Think about it for a second.

• What price would you pay?
• What staying in the hibernation mode instead of living up to your full potential is costing you?

Got it? I hope it's scary enough to hack yourself into going for that Activation Mode. Sometimes NOT taking action is much more painful than just doing it. The thing that scares the shit out of me is lying on the death bed and thinking, “I wish I did this [enter the project you are thinking about now].”

Scary, creepy? Maybe, but so real at the same time.

Now I know you're dying to get that project of yours running.

But hold on for a sec before you jump straight into it shouting:

“Hell yeah! I’m choosing courage over fear, and I’m going for it. All in. Right here, right now!”

And by all means, get out there and start implementing the things that you dream of. 

Go for that promotion, new job, new business, youtube show, speaking gig, volunteering, run that half-marathon.

But here’s the final piece of advice I have for you. And it's pure gold.

How To Achieve Big Things Without Doing Scary Shit

When I had my “airport moment” and I realized that I was in the hibernation mode all this time, I wanted to make up for it and DO ALL THE THINGS. 

But jumping in headfirst is not a solution. Either the fears take over, or it’s just too much to keep doing it over a long period. And, sometimes, it can get you in trouble if you go too far 😉 

The solution? Start easy. Step-by-step.

Now, this part is important:

You don’t have to go for big goals by taking big, risky steps.

You don't learn biking by going on an aggressive downhill race, right? That would not end well. Start with what feels relatively comfortable while still pushing yourself and getting out of the comfort zone to build that confidence and courage. And take it from there. Consistent baby steps and time lead to huge leaps. 

Trust me. I went for big projects, but I didn’t start with a big leap right away. 

I went through a career coaching program and created my exit strategy way before jumping into the unknown waters of entrepreneurship. I planned & prepared for my move out of the country for a year. I was taking cold showers regularly for months before I braved that Polar Bear dip (don’t know what it is? It is when you and a bunch of strangers get into an ice-cold lake to greet the New Year’s).

You do the first step, start somewhere, and you explore where you can take it from there. Then you keep moving.

Small steps = big things. That’s the trick.

The most important thing is that you have to start moving. You can only hope for a better future IF you do something to make it better NOW. One more reason to get moving right away. Roger that? 

You Are Ready To Live Your Best Life

Okay, at this point, I hope that you can see that everything I talked about here is not rocket science. There are a few counterintuitive things, but once you see the full picture, it makes sense and looks doable, right? 

EVERYONE can go from HIBERNATION to ACTIVATION.

No matter the age, how busy you are, or whether or not you consider yourself naturally confident and brave. 

Yes, it requires courage, taking action, and confidence. But all of those things are learnable. 

You can get over your fears and all the BS stuff that holds you back, and live your best life. 

You know what I'm talking about. Everyone knows the difference between feeling numb, lifeless, and on auto-pilot versus feeling the energy, vibrancy, joy, life force. Feeling alive AGAIN.

So if you feel like you’ve been in hibernation for way too long and you’re ready to step out of it now, YOU CAN TOTALLY DO IT! And if you've read this far, you are freaking READY.

You have the WHOLE EQUATION and the AUTOMATIC ACTIVATION PROCEDURES to guide you. So make your “DREAM PROJECT” finally happen. Go for the things that you really want to try. Be INTENTIONAL. Start with SMALL STEPS that add up to big leaps. Chose COURAGE, build CONFIDENCE, and have FUN with it. Be someone new. Or should I rather say be more of the thrill-seeking, chance-taking, lion-hearted kid YOU STILL REALLY ARE.

C'mon. YOU ARE READY to become one of the brave women you admire NOW!

A Community Cheering For You

Sadly, it's not always easy to get out of the Hibernation Mode all alone. And I don't want some shit like that stop you. When I had my "airport moment", I got my hands on all the books, courses, and materials I could find. I enjoy working on my own, so it's not easy for me to admit it. But... what really made a difference was joining a career coaching group. I found a solid group of supporters (other than my mom and my husband) who kept me accountable. It turned out people are super cool. And for the first time, I felt like I'm not the odd one out who feels stuck in the wrong job. And it gave me wings. I found the courage to take the first step. And it all started rolling from there.

So I'm thinking that maybe you crave that group support, a place talk things through, and a safe environment to try new things you've been putting off for "one day." 

Would you like to step into the Activation Mode supported by THE FUN ONLINE COMMUNITY and ACCOUNTABILITY GROUP? I've got you covered! And it's oh-so-good!